BIRDS OF PREY #12 (New 52)

Previously…

Poison Ivy betrayed the Birds, infecting Black Canary, Batgirl, Katana, and Starling with a toxin that will release plague viruses if they don't help her environmental crusade.  Couldn't you just die?

Like the first eleven issues of this wretched series, Birds of Prey #12: "Heartbreak and Vine" was written by Duane Swierczynski.  Cliff Richards comes aboard this issue for art duties, with colors again provided by Gabe Eltaeb, and a cover by Stanley Lau.

Sadly, most of us knew this team/book was finished long before Starling poisoned a murderous corporate fat cat because Poison Ivy made her.  I've had misgivings since the first ish.

Despite not having any apparent leverage, the Birds managed to convince Poison Ivy to not kill anyone in her quest to rid the world of polluters.  Ivy has the CEO poisoned, just like her "teammates" claiming he'll die horribly if he doesn't change the awful drilling practices of his company.

"We're not friends," Dinah thinks, in what might be the understatement of the first year of the New 52.  It's true, friends don't try to kill each other.  At the height of the original Birds of Prey, the ladies were really, truly friends.  They cared loved each other.  They spent time with each other.  Dinah, Babs, and Helena didn't just look out for each other during field ops, they took care of each other's personal lives, too.  Do the new Birds even have personal lives to protect?

Thank you, Mister Swierczynski, for once more reminding us that this series is nothing more than a handful of mediocre action sequences strung together by the thinnest of cliched plots.  And then this happens:

To recap: If the Birds don't do what Poison Ivy says, they'll die in six months, releasing a cataclysmic airborne virus on the planet.  If they die before then, the same result will occur.  So Black Canary starts to fight Ivy while they're in a Gulfstream jet!

Dinah, Batgirl and Katana all attack Poison Ivy because she violates their "no killing" policy, even though, as Ivy points out, Katana has a sword that she routinely uses to kill people, and Black Canary confessed to murdering her husband.  Starling, who is piloting the jet, spins it around upside down a couple times to break up the fighting, and then tells them to get ready for their next target.  Said target is an offshore oil drilling platform.

The Birds parachute out of the jet, while Starling ensures that it crashes into the platform.

Okay, I gotta call bullshit on this right away.

1. They crashed their plane?  How are they planning to escape?  They mention that the explosion is meant to scare away the crew so presumably the lifeboats and escape craft will be taken by the time the ladies conclude their mission.  So what's their exit strategy?
2. Why did they parachute so far from the rig?  It might take them an hour to swim towards their target while emergency response vehicles--as well as news helicopters--will fall on the drilling platform like something in an analogy.  What if not all of them are strong swimmers?  Any of them could drown and release their plague virus?
3. Starling crashed the plane into the drilling platform?  The platform that drills for oil?  First of all, causing a major explosion on a big rig like that would endanger every life on the facility.  In fact, it would be miraculous if every crew member wasn't blown to hell, so the Birds' ban on killing is a sham.

Whoever came up with this strategy is a goddamn moron, and I'm not talking about Poison Ivy or one of the other characters.  I'm referring to the so-called talent who thought up this sequence.  Whoever it was did absolutely zero research into this kind of attack.  And the reason I know he/she did absolutely zero research is that any research, any at all--the bare minimum--would have show how impossible this strategy would be.

While sabotaging the drill, they find unexpected survivors trapped onboard, probably because the fiery debris of a jet airplane just dropped onto their break room.  Starling refuses to go ahead with their plans while innocent lives are at risk.  Poison Ivy knocks her out and blows up the rig.

Somehow, everyone gets out alive.  Ivy even carries Starling outside.  I guess she wanted her alive instead of releasing the virus that would make the world exactly the way she would like it.

After that, they return to Gotham so Poison Ivy can recuperate in a weird chemical bath being operated by someone who looks vaguely doctor-ish.  The "doctor" doesn't give a name, because who cares what his name is and Swierczynski couldn't think of anything.

I don't know if the image of Batgirl tugging on her glove like she's about to perform a rectal exam on someone is the creepiest panel of this series or the best, but it's one or both of those.  Then she flashes her gang sign which is the cue that they're not going to take being used by Ivy any longer.

Wait.  Batgirl is… going for help?  What is she six years old?  She's a superhero!  She wears the bat symbol.  She is the help people seek!  I get that she's presumably running to Batman so he can work on a cure for the toxin in their system, but this could have been handled in a less spastic, juvenile manner.

The others fight Poison Ivy again.  Starling gets her wrists possibly broken or hurt.  Doesn't matter.  Katana slices up Poison Ivy's back severely enough to take her out of the fight and maybe even kill her.

Black Canary questions Katana's methods, which once again calls everything about this team and its nature into question.

The Characters

Black Canary acknowledges that she was a fool to ever trust Poison Ivy.  Admitting it is the first step, I guess…

It sure seems like this is the last time we'll see Poison Ivy in this series.

Impressions/Questions

This issue begins and ends with Black Canary addressing questions that point out the faults in this series.  "This is not why I formed this team," Dinah says at the end.  Probably true, but the fact is, we don't know why she formed the team.  We still don't know the team's agenda or their purpose.

Maybe those questions will be answered in issue #0 that comes next, but I doubt it.

Grade: F

Next week I'll start pulling double duty on my coverage of Black Canary in the New 52.  I'll continue to recap this series every New Fifty-Tuesday, but before that, come by over the weekend when I review Team 7 #0.

BIRDS OF PREY #11 (New 52)

Previously…

I don't care enough to write a meaningful intro to this comic.  Let's get into it already.

Birds of Prey #11: "Tangled Up Inside" was written by Duane Swierczynski with art by Travel Foreman and Timothy Greene, inks by Jeff Huet and Joseph Silver, and colors by Gabe Eltaeb.  The manga-infused cover, complete with tentacles, was provided by Stanley Lau.

The issue opens in a corporate boardroom in Dubai, where the CEO of some unscrupulous wants the company to make money with deep core fracking, environmental concerns be damned!

Can you guess who has a problem with that?

I think a ficus would have been easier, but that's me.

The story cuts back to where we left off in issue #10, which is a week earlier than the scene in Dubai.  The Birds and Starling's drug smuggling buddy, Leyden, are on the run in the Amazon rainforest.  They're bringing Poison Ivy to a laboratory to save her, while some conspicuous plant monster creatures chase them.  An important point that I'm not sure I made last week is that each one of the ladies was pricked by the plant creatures, although there didn't seem to be any immediate effects (foreshadowing!).

Last issue, it seemed the Birds escaped from the monsters thanks to Black Canary's newfound powers of flight and Starling's timely detonation of plastic explosives.  Also, there were a lot of heatseeking missiles blowing $#@% up that never got explained.  Anyway, once inside the facility, it appears the plant monsters are still a threat.

At this point, Swierczynski realizes that this Leyden character should have been killed off in the helicopter crash last time, and conveniently eliminates him.  I know that the plant monsters snap his neck because Starling says, "Oh, God! It's snapped his neck!"  That word balloon was useful, because from the panel above it, I thought Katana killed him with her soulsword.  Either way, she doesn't sound terribly upset by his passing.

What the--when did Etta Candy join the team?

I don't often criticize artists because it's so subjective.  There are very popular and critically acclaimed artists whose styles I don't prefer.  What's more, I greatly enjoyed Travel Foreman's work on Animal Man.  But the above depiction of Black Canary… I'm not sure if Foreman or Green drew that but they need a redo.  Seriously, I get that women in superhero comics are already over-sexualized, but Black Canary is supposed to be sexy!  I shouldn't look at Dinah and think of Eric Cartman shouting BEEFCAKE!

The ladies get Poison Ivy down to the lab's greenhouse while she explains that the plant monsters are a genetically created organism called the Perennial.  She finally explains her New 52 costume and power change is the result of a specially created bio-suit.

Wait, she accuses Batgirl of not noticing her increased power levels because they encountered each other before Birds of Prey #1.  All of their interactions since then have been in this series written by Duane Swierczynski, so if Batgirl was going to comment on Ivy's powers, Swierczynski would have written that exchange.  Is he calling out his own failure to develop this relationship, or is this just more bad writing?

Poison Ivy reveals that her new powers are killing her, but the bio suit is sustaining her.  For now.

Then we cut back to the present time in Dubai.  As Poison Ivy targets the greedy board members, the company's chief of security comes in with a hose full of extra toxic weedkiller.  And to prove that these are cutthroat businessmen, the CEO gives the security chief the thumbs up to kill as many board members as it takes to stop Poison Ivy.

Back in the Amazon a week earlier, Poison Ivy surprises no one but Black Canary and Batgirl by revealing her true nature.

Yes, please. Spare us. Kill us now.

Poison Ivy poisoned them so they're all dying, but she'll cure them as long as they help her kill wicked businessmen and keep Batman from capturing her.  Poisoning.  Blackmail.  Murder.  Sounds exactly like the Poison Ivy we all know and love.  Sounds exactly like the Poison Ivy Batman told Dinah not to trust.  Sounds exactly like the Poison Ivy Batgirl told Dinah not to trust.

That's what kills any semblance of suspense in this plot.  A physically compromised hero having to work with the villain in order to survive; that's a tried and true plot that can be epically entertaining (see: Batman: Arkham City).  It doesn't work, though, if the plot reinforces the notion that our hero is a bumbling idiot.

And then Swierczynski reveals Ivy's Plan B…

If any of the Birds die before Ivy gives them the cure, their bodies will release the toxin into the air causing some kind of environmental cleansing.

Essentially, the women have been turned into walking bombs.  That sounds a little familiar…

Oh yeah, that was the premise of the first seven #@$%ing issues of this series!

The issue ends in Dubai again.  The security chief is taken out by Batgirl before he can stop Poison Ivy, and then Starling appears to execute the CEO, but it's a little vague.  Maybe intentionally vague, or maybe just lazy art.  It's also worth noting that neither Batgirl nor Starling speak in this final scene, which may suggest they're not just going along with Ivy's plan but actually being controlled by her.  We'll see.  I guess.

Characters

Poison Ivy is exactly who everyone knew she was.

Black Canary is exactly what I dreaded she was.

Impressions/Questions

Poison Ivy's betrayal was inevitable.  I'm glad we finally got to that point.  Her treachery, however, only highlights the stubborn ignorance of the so-called heroes in this story, and her plan to turn Black Canary and the others into biological WMDs is more of the same bad.

Also, what the hell happened to the heatseeking missiles last issue?  Somebody was shooting freaking missiles at our characters!  Hell, that was the title of issue #10 and we just completely forgot about it!

Grade: F

BIRDS OF PREY #10 (New 52)

Previously…

I haven't reviewed this series in a while--been caught up in fan-casting the DC Universe--but I need to get back in the routine of reviewing while I outline the rest of my Justice League movie series.  It's been well over a year since I read this issue of Birds of Prey.  I don't remember liking it much at the time, but maybe it holds up better over time.  Maybe…

Birds of Prey #10: "Heat Seekers" is written by Duane Swierczynski with art by Travel Foreman and colors by Gabe Eltaeb.  Foreman and Eltaeb also provide the cover.  I have no idea of Eltaeb is his real name, but spelled backwards it does read "Beatle" for whatever that's worth.

The issue begins with the Birds riding in a private helicopter over the Amazon basin in South America. Starling chartered the ride, piloted by an old friend of hers named Leyden.  In the cargo/passenger hold, Black Canary, Batgirl and Katana ride with a container that looks an awful lot like a coffin.  And in the coffin is Poison Ivy, barely alive after she stopped the Talon last issue.

Yep, somebody launches a heatseeking missile at the chopper.  Everyone in back gets sucked out and falls hundreds of feet to the jungle below, where they all manage to land safely, without injury, even the pilot who goes down in the burning chopper.

They're not sure who tried to blow them out of the air; was it one of Poison Ivy's enemies or one of the people involved in the still-unresolved death of Black Canary's husband?  Canary is adamant about getting Ivy out of her coffin thingy so that the jungle can rejuvenate her.

We then flashback to Gotham City, two days ago, in the immediate aftermath of the "Night of the Owls" crossover, where the Birds got sucked into one of Batman's adventures, for no apparent reason.

In the first appearance of Batman in this book that clings to the Batman family of comics for dear life, the Caped Crusader tells Black Canary that her choice in teammates is as laughably bad as, well, as I've been saying since issue #1.  He says Starling is a dangerous whack job and calls Poison Ivy a betrayal waiting to happen.  And when Dinah tries yet again to defend them, Batman says what we've all been thinking, but didn't want to admit.

This single panel is heartbreaking, not just because it's the ugliest damn depiction of a supposedly attractive woman that I've ever seen in a comic, but because Batman's statement is painfully accurate.

Black Canary was Chairwoman of the Justice League of America a couple years ago, and while I never agreed she was the right person for the job, considering the Big Three were there, it at least paid respect to the character's history and credentials as a superhero.  In the New 52-verse, she has no credentials.  She's never been a Justice League member; they chose Element-Woman over her.  And as for her history, well, I would comment on that but we've never been told what it is.  Her involvement in her husband's murder no longer qualifies as a mystery; it's just bad storytelling.

Batman calls her sloppy and dangerous.  She is.  Batman, Batgirl, everyone says she's wrong to trust Starling and Poison Ivy.  She is at that, too.

Back in the Amazon, Starling saves her buddy, Leyden, and reveals that his helicopter was used to traffic liquid cocaine (but she's totally a heroic person worthy teaming up with Batgirl and Katana). Is that why somebody shot a missile at them?

Before that question can be answered, the ladies are attacked by plant Medusa monster creatures.

They blow up what's left of the helicopter and all the cocaine (aww!) and start running from the fire, which attracts further heatseeking missiles.  Seriously, who is firing missiles at them?  Katana gets her mad gardening on since none of the plant monsters have souls.

Leyden and the Ladies are chased through the jungle until they reach a sheer cliff.  The rope bridge extending from their side to the other has been cut and Batgirl's grapple gun doesn't have the range to get them over the gap.   They're trapped, about to die.

This is where Black Canary can show her stuff and save the day.

Unfortunately, where the exchange with Batman broke my heart, her heroic act at the end of the issue made me groan in disgust.

No, your eyes aren't deceiving you.  That's Black Canary flying in the page above.  She $@#%ing flies across the gap.  She uses her stupid sonic scream to stupid fly, because, hey, it works for Banshee and Siryn over at Marvel, why shouldn't it work for Black Canary?  Well, aside from the physics involved (or not involved), Dinah has never displayed this kind of power before, and it's a pretty significant power, so if she can use it, she better use it often.  It's like suddenly revealing that Aquaman can telekinetically control water; if you introduce that power once and never show it again, it's not really a superpower, it's just a deus ex machina.

Because that's not dumb enough, Swierczynski piles on the bad storytelling by having Starling blow up the bridge after they get across, separating the ladies from the plant monsters chasing them.  Then another missile flies out of nowhere and blows up all the monsters!  Where are the missiles coming from and if they're heat seekers, why did they target the plant creatures which should have minimal if any body heat?

Also, basic storytelling tip: If Starling blows up the bridge separating the heroes from the monsters, then the heroes are safe and Starling gets the credit for being resourceful and smart.  But if the now harmless bad guys are immediately destroyed by unseen forces that could have destroyed them back when the bridge was still in tact, well, then Starling's act of clever heroism is moot.

The issue ends with Poison Ivy waking up, telling her teammates to enter the bunker on their side of the jungle where she'll explain everything.

The Characters

We don't really learn anything new about the supporting characters, just Black Canary.  In any other case, that would be just fine with me.

We're told that Black Canary still thinks of her late husband, Kurt Lance.  We're also told/shown that Kurt pushed Dinah to embrace her sonic scream and test its limitations.  This allowed her to detonate the first missile before it struck the helicopter, and this allows her to fly when she needs to get across the gap in the issue's climax.  As such, this makes me hate him, because these forced changes to her power set are more off-putting than anything.

I don't need Black Canary to have a super power.  I'm fine with her being one of the five or ten best hand-to-hand combatants in the world.  But if they want to give her a metahuman ability to shatter stuff with her scream, okay, fine, whatever.  But to elevate the power to this degree to me feels closer to the electric blue Superman.

Impressions/Questions

This series has not been flattering to Black Canary, but this issue kicked her in the stomach by having Batman rightly characterize her as incompetent and foolish, and then giving her a stupid gimmick power that will never come back again.

I like Travel Foreman's art on some comics, but not on this one.  This series has nothing going for it other than the gimmick of a bunch of sexy ladies doing espionage stuff.  For that you need a more mainstream artist with a style that shows off cheesecake and the female form.  Foreman's art lends more toward the heroic, which kind of works for the plant monsters, but not enough.

Overall, everything about this issue was a little better than what we've been seeing in the series lately, but the blows done to Black Canary are crippling.

Grade: C-

BIRDS OF PREY #9 (New 52) - Night of the Owls

Previously…

Birds of Prey #9 ties into the "Night of the Owls" event that touched all the Batman-family of books in April-May of 2012.  Rather than summing up the Court of Owls' deadly plot myself, I'll let Alfred Pennyworth explain it in his words, which, I guess, are Scott Snyder's words, really.

"To all the allies of the Bat presently in Gotham, I will send this with the greatest urgency. Tonight, the Court of Owls has sent their assassins to kill nearly forty people across the city.  The Court's targets are all Gotham leaders.  People who shape this city.  I have uploaded a list of targets' names, here.  The Court's assassins, the "Talons," are already en route to their targets.  They are highly trained killers with extraordinary regenerative abilities.  For many of their targets, I fear it may be too late.  I will keep the line open to the cave as long as I can manage.  Good luck to you.  God help us all." (Batman #8) 

Birds of Prey #9: "Gangland Style" is written by Duane Swierczynski and welcomes a new art team onto the book: Travel Foreman on pencils, Jeff Huet on inks, Gabe Eltaeb on colors.  Jesus Saiz and June Chung provide the cover.

The issue opens in Gotham City, the year 1842, amidst what looks like a full-on gang war.  And then everyone's dead.  The street toughs are all wiped out by the Court of Owls' evil enforcer, the Talon.

Cut to present day Gotham, in medias res.  It's 8:20 PM on the Night of the Owls, which is now an official day on the city calendar, like Dia de los Muertos or something.  The Birds have already encountered one of the Talons, and they're not faring well.

I thought Katana's husband could only speak with souls of the dead killed by her sword, so wouldn't he only sense if Poison Ivy was alive or dead if Katana stabbed her?  Or can her husband commune with any dead soul?  

Anyway, Dinah uses her sonic scream on the Talon, which does jack all.  We get a glimpse into the Talon's mind and how he views his current situation.  This allows Travel Foreman to redesign the Birds in Victorian-era garb (Black Canary looks like Captain Crunch, Katana looks like a demon samurai, and Starling looks like, well, like Starling).

Waitaminute, waitaminute, waitaminute!  The Court of Owls dispatched their legion of assassins to murder "Gotham leaders… people who shape the city."  That's what Alfred said; that's what Scott Snyder wrote.  That was the mission statement given to all of the other writers in the Batman family of books.  Gail Simone, Kyle Higgins, they all followed that idea.

Duane Swierczynski…not so much.  Whereas Batgirl and Nightwing and everyone else went to protect Gotham citizens, y'know, like heroes do, the Birds are victims.  They're targets for execution.  WHY?  Why would Black Canary, Poison Ivy, and Katana be on the same list as the Mayor, city planners, religious leaders, and Commissioner Gordon?

The answer is Swierczynski doesn't know or doesn't care.  He isn't writing a "Night of the Owls" tie-in; he's writing a Friday the 13th movie for DC Comics.  Seriously, this issue is essentially an '80s horror movie, with the Talon standing in for Jason or Michael Myers or the Terminator, silently, relentlessly hunting a group of helpless young women.  Let's just acknowledge that and move on.

So Black Canary and Katana run to the same church that Dinah first fought the Cleaners in issue #1.  And just like that time, Starling drives through a door and a wall.

Seriously, how many times is she going to drive through a brick wall in a church?  Is that her super power?  Why isn't the car damaged?  Is it a super-car?  If I had a car that could drive through walls like that, I would never get out?

The Talon is not killed by Starling's Adamantium-Churchbuster-Death-Car, of course, and he gets his hand on her throat with the opportunity to kill her (pleasepleasepleaseplease).  But Batgirl swings down and saves her, because sometimes Batgirl is in this book.  Batgirl knows the trick to stopping the Talon is to freeze him, because she's been paying attention to the other comics.

The Birds lead the Talon to the train yard and throw him into a meat locker car.  Then Poison Ivy comes back.

Ivy locks herself in the freezer with the Talon, claiming that she'll be able to survive the intense cold because of botany-science.  After that, Dinah tells the others that they're going on a trip to South America so she can fulfill her promise to Poison Ivy that totally won't backfire on them or anything.

The Characters

I have complained a lot about the lack of characterization and consistency in this title.  How important concepts introduced in one issue fail to be addressed later on.  Well, this issue bucks that trend by having Dinah finally dwell on the pressure that her husband's murder has thrust on her.  And the horror that her allies may believe she was responsible for it, and maybe she was.

The problem is when Swierczsynski finally gives Dinah--and readers--a moment to acknowledge her past demons, it is completely inappropriate for the time and place!  Dinah's being hunted by a faceless, unstoppable killer, and the first chance she gets to catch her breath she starts crying to Katana about the dead husband that never seemed to bother her before.  You know who else has a dead husband?  Katana!  But slice-'em-up girl isn't crying about it; she's trying to keep them alive like Dinah should be doing!

Besides this out-of-place character moment, the issue is short on people, long on plot.  Like every issue of the series.

Thank you, Travel Foreman and the new art team, for allowing Poison Ivy to show a little skin and look a little sexy like she's supposed to for the first time in this series.  You know, before the plants shoot out of her chest again.


Impressions/Questions

One of my other regular complaints with this series has been the amount of story per issue.  Given that these comics used to be 22 pages, and now they're 20, I would think the issue would feel crowded.  That's never been the case with Birds of Prey in the New 52, though.

The first three pages of this story are a prologue showing the Talon slaughtering a whole bunch of people we don't know or care about because it was 170 years ago.  I understand the intention is to show how dangerous the Talon is by showing how easy it is for him to kill a lot of dangerous men before turning him loose on our small band of heroins.  But the precious real estate of page space is wasted.

Page 1 is three panels.  Pages 2 and 3 are a double page splash of dead bodies we don't know or care about.

That's four panels in the first three pages.  Four panels to set the tone and the threat level of this story, but that leaves only 17 pages to tell an actual story.  Those three pages could have/should have shown the Talon killing a contemporary Gothamite and butchering his whole security team before turning his sights on the Birds who arrive too late to stop him.

So how do I feel about this issue?

First, when this issue came out back in 2012, I was thoroughly enjoying Snyder and Capullo's Batman.  It was a consistently great comic and one of my three favorite series out of the New 52 launch.  While I think eleven issues was too much for the opening arc, I really, really enjoyed the Court of Owls storyline.  I read a lot of the tie-ins and I thought they were pretty good.

And as a small cog of the greater "Night of the Owls" wheel, this isn't a bad story.  There are some inconsistencies and some faults, but there's also a lot of treats if you read it as an homage to horror movies like Halloween.  As such, I feel compelled to grade this issue on two different scales: as a part of "Night of the Owls" and as a part of Birds of Prey.

Grade (NotO): B
Grade (BoP): C

BIRDS OF PREY #8 (New 52)

Previously…

It seems like the long, confusing first arc of Birds of Prey volume 3 is finally over.  Was anything accomplished by that story?  Have the characters grown or changed?  Did the finale make sense and feel deserved given the scope of what came before?  No, no, and no.

So let's move on.

Birds of Prey #8: "A Far Cry" is again written by Duane Swierczynski, with pencils by Jesus Saiz and inks/finishes by Javier Pina and colors by June Chung.  Saiz provides the cover, as well.

The issue opens three days ago* at the Cornwell Hotel where the Gotham City P.D. is investigating a brutal murder.  A mysterious man with more clout than the local cops kicks them out, taking charge of the case.  The murder victim's entire face was caved in, including his teeth, which were shattered, making facial or dental identification impossible.  Convenient.  But a fingerprint check reveals that the victim was a member of the investigator's mysterious organization.

The investigator believes that Dinah's sonic "Canary Cry" was the murder weapon.

Cut to Dinah Lance being burned…

In the Cornwell Hotel today, Black Canary, Batgirl, and Katana are fighting for their lives against a team of assassins called the Infiltrators.  The Infiltrators are led by a holographic commander whose name we never learn, because that's how Swierczynski rolls.  Dinah's narration explains that the Birds came here "on a tip" from "a man" who claimed "to have information that would interest [Dinah]."  If there is a lazier way of establishing the situation I would like to see it.

Dinah knows the hologram from her past.  The Infiltrators, however, seem new.  The first Infiltrator we meet is Napalm, who has flamethrowers attached to each wrist.  Napalm is really excited about torching Poison Ivy, and is really disappointed to discover that she's not here.

Next up is Flesh, who looks like a well-muscled sumo wrestler.  His skin is impervious to cuts and damage, so he spends the issue fighting Katana (also 'cuz they're Japanese…?).

The last Infiltrator we meet is Head (seriously), who has chemicals pumping into his brain that make it impossible to knock him unconscious.  That seems like a really, really super-specific and not-as-useful-as-you'd-think-superpower for an assassin, but whatever, his name is Head.  Head targets Batgirl, apparently, to exploit the weakness that she tends to knock out her opponents.  What a crutch she relies on!

Meanwhile, Starling has gone to an "undisclosed location" in South Dakota, which might be the base of operations for the Infiltrators, or at least close to it.  I guess South Dakota is a big state, but there's not a lot there other than Mount Rushmore.  Starling breaks into a safehouse looking for evidence that will either confirm or clear her friend Dinah of the murder charge against her.  That's when she's met by someone who looks like the investigator from the beginning.

Back in Gotham, the Birds and the Infiltrators have caused so much structural damage to the upper floors of the Cornwell Hotel that the walls are coming down and floors are collapsing.  At one point, another Infiltrator slaps a collar on Dinah, preventing her from using her Canary Cry.  This Infiltrator's name isn't mentioned (because: Swierczynski).  Dinah and Batgirl lead most of the Infiltrators down to the lower levels.  And then Katana joins them by riding Napalm down the elevator shaft.

Yeah, at first I was a little wowed that Katana was so casually killing another one of her enemies, but then I saw that the Birds brought down an entire luxury hotel!  Yeah, that entire damn building came down!  Think there's any chance that innocent lives were hurt or lost by that stunt?!!

But there's still another wall to knock down!

Next issue: Birds of Prey ties-in with the "Night of the Owls" crossover in all the Batman books.

The Characters

This version of Black Canary was married.  She was Dinah Drake, the name of the original Golden Age Canary.  Lance is her married name, but she didn't marry Larry Lance, as the original Dinah did.  She married a guy named Kurt Lance.

Also, she killed him.

Starling used to work for the Penguin.  We've been told that Starling is a spy, so maybe she was undercover at the time she was working for him.  Maybe not.

Katana kills.

Poison Ivy only appears on the cover of this issue.  She's not in the story.  This is a good thing.  Although, wasn't she dying at the end of issue #7?!!  Shouldn't that be addressed?

Impressions/Questions

This issue is a vast improvement over the last handful of installments of this series.  It still suffers from a lot of the same problems as before, though.

Swierczynski sets the table with the "anonymous tip" reference that is so cliche, so lazy, so stupid that it makes the characters seem dumb for going along with it.  As usual, the "mystery" element of these stories only works because the characters aren't smart enough to solve it.

There's also some confusion about the timing of events.  The opening is tagged as "three days ago", but Dinah killed her husband three years ago.  The impression I got was that the investigator in the opening scene was discovering Kurt Lance's body, but he says, "Dinah Lance has struck again."  This suggests she killed her husband and then three days ago killed someone else in the same way.  But his hair in the opening scene is a lot shorter than it is later on when he meets Starling in North Dakota.  So what's going on?  I'm assuming the caption on the first page is wrong: that it should have said years, not days.

The issue has some strong qualities, too.  Despite being really simplistic baddies, the Infiltrators are decent villains.  Flesh has a cool gimmick, and Head at least looks interesting.  I'm not saying these guys deserve more than one issue, but they're fun for these pages.  The action keeps the story moving at a pretty good pace.

Starling isn't annoying in this issue.  That's good.

Best of all, we're finally--finally--acknowledging the murdered elephant in the room.  Why is Dinah wanted for murder?  Did she actually kill someone?  Who and why?  I guess we'll find out next issue.

Oh, wait.  Next issue they fight the Court of Owls.  Damn.

Grade:  C-

BIRDS OF PREY #7 (New 52)

Previously…

I'm not even going to pretend like I care about what's happened in the first six issues.  This opening story arc has been horrible and simultaneously over-complicated and under-developed.  The characters act and sound like stupid imitations of people.  But at least this issue is supposed to be the climax of the story arc.

Birds of Prey #7: "Brain Damage" is written by Duane Swierczynski, with art by Jesus Saiz and colors by June Chung.  Saiz also provides a pretty good cover for the book.

New 52 Batgirl has nipples on her forearms.

This issue picks up where the last issue ended: Black Canary, Katana, and Poison Ivy are fighting a whole bunch of office workers who have been brainwashed by the mysterious mind-controller known as Choke.  Meanwhile, down in the basement, Batgirl, Starling, and Dr. Trevor Cahill are monitoring the situation.  Dinah understands that aside from being investment brokers, these people are mostly innocent.  They're not in control of their minds or bodies, so the Birds need to show restraint when subduing them.

Hmm… I wonder if the crazy, super villain Poison Ivy is going to have a problem with not killing her attackers…

So Black Canary and Poison Ivy fight, which is usually what heroes and villains do, so this is a surprise only to Dinah.  Why she ever thought Poison Ivy would make a good fit for her team is a mystery that only the writer (or more likely the editor) will ever know.

Poison Ivy gets the upper hand in their fight.  Dinah is saved, though, when Choke orders one of his zombies to target Ivy, presumably to save Dinah.

Down in the basement, Starling reveals that Cahill is Choke because she caught him using his iPad to send messages to his mindless drones.  Somebody here is mind-achingly stupid.  I don't know if it's the bad guy or the ersatz good guys or the storytellers, but somebody's stupid.

They know that Choke specializes in brainwashing and that the cue can be something as simple as a word or phrase.  Why didn't anybody prepare for that?!!

So Batgirl has to fight off Starling, which gives Cahill time to bolt.  Upstairs, Black Canary uses her sonic scream to incapacitate everyone, including her allies.  She then joins Batgirl in the hunt for Cahill.  They track him down in the alleyway where Batgirl finally uses those brains she's famous for.

Batgirl shuts him up before he can literally talk his way out of captivity.  This action is so decisive and so rational that I'm pretty sure Gail Simone wrote these panels without credit.

Dinah tells Batgirl that she had suspected Cahill was Choke for some time based on absurdly flimsy evidence, and chose to endanger many more lives in an effort to smoke him out.  Then the dumbest thing in a long history of dumb things in this series happens.

Ev is the only one Dinah trusts?  WHY?!!  Also, Batgirl has a gunshot wound in her arm.  And Dinah knows--from first hand experience--that Choke can manipulate and brainwash people!  And Choke has ALREADY gotten in Starling's head, sending her into an ambush just last issue!  Why, Dinah?  Why is it so difficult to believe she's been mind-controlled again?

(I now want to bunch this comic book in the face.)

The Birds sans Batgirl take Cahill to their hideout… in the sewer… to get answers.  Wait, what are the questions you need answered?  Cahill mentions sort of off-handedly that Dinah killed her husband, which seems to surprise Katana and Starling.

Forgetting for the moment how dumb she looks by saying she knows everything about him and then immediately asking a question about his motives, Dinah is shocked for the umpteenth time when the bad guy--who specializes in mind control--using voice commands--compromises both Poison Ivy and Starling by speaking.

Poison Ivy's own biology is attacking her and Starling starts trying to shoot her allies almost exactly like Batgirl said had happened.  Dinah has just enough time to look like a moron before--

Pictured above: Katana's application for membership in the Justice League of America.

Katana says that her husband, whose spirit inhabits her Soultaker, can now interrogate Cahill and get the answers they seek.  Dinah reprimands Katana for murdering their prisoner and for how silly her strategy sounds.

Then the next dumbest thing in a long history of dumb things in this series happens.

Starling, you've already been manipulated by Choke before!  Remember when you went to the wrong rendezvous spot!  I hate everyone and everything about this book!

So Black Canary goes to Cahill's apartment to trash his place and bust his TV.  Then Batgirl shows up, because, you know, whatever.

Wait, Cahill wasn't Choke?!!  You mean this story isn't over yet?!!


The Characters

Poison Ivy and Katana both kill people in this issue.  Starling tries to kill her teammates.  Dinah has the nerve to wonder what has become of her wonderful, non-homicidal team.

This seems like the issue where we should have discovered why Cahill/Choke did what he did, who he was, all the classic villain exposition stuff.  We get none of that.  He might have been doing it for fun, but who knows.


Impressions/Questions

WARNING: I'm gonna drop a couple F-bombs here.

I don't like using the word retarded as a pejorative.  I know people with mental disabilities and it's an ugly, often hate-filled word, and everyone deserves better than that.  But all I could think of when I read this issue was the characters are all fucking retarded.  Is there a better word I can use?  I can call them fucktards, right?  That's not offensive to anyone other than the desired target, is it?


Grade: F (for "fucktard")